Volcanoe (vision)

Last weekend, I was in Big Bear for a retreat with my church's college group. On Saturday night, we were having a prayer and worship session when God's Spirit completely set in. We were all basking in God's presence when God gave me a vision. I was writing it down and asking God who I needed to speak it to when He said to read it out loud for everyone to hear. As I read it, I could sense a fire stirring in us all, a fire and passion for revival. I began to pray with a fervor I've never experience before, and everyone began praying with all their might.

       I saw a desolate, flat, dry, dead land. Trees were bare, the ground was all dirt, no grass. The people living there were scrawny, starving, and weak. A mountain stood near the town--I could see that it was a volcanoe, long thought dormant. Suddenly, it erupted and fire came spewing out of it. The fire covered the dead land a spread rapidly. But instead of destruction, the fire brought new life as it burned. The trees sprouted green leaves, fresh grass grew and colorful flowers blossomed. The people became healthy, joyful, and vibrant. The fire spread rapidly to nearby towns, continuing the transformation of death into new life.
       We live in the desolate wasteland--the people are starving and feel hopeless. The body of Christ, the church, the believers... We are the volcanoe, long thought dormant. We must erupt with a passion and filled with the Spirit. We must spread the holy fire. People are longing for new life; we must show them how to attain new life. If we are obedient to God's will, the land will come alive again in a miraculous revival, a revival that will spread from person to person, town to town. We need to take responsibility for the lives around us and lead people to Christ so their souls will be satisfied.

       Lord, I pray that You will convict us of our unwillingness to reach out to the people in the world who hunger and thirst for You. Give us the boldness to speak truth in love to those who need You most. Show us the weight of the responsibility You have given us. Rid us of our stubborness, laziness, pride, or whatever it is that gets in the way of doing exactly what You say for us to do. Unite us as the body of Christ and ignite a flame in our hearts for revival.

                 Amen.

Ephesians 4:1-6

"As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all." 

Romans 13:11-12

"And do this [love God, love your neighbor], understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light."

Jars at a Cemetery (vision) Part II

        On Wednesday night, I shared my "Jars at a Cemetery" vision to my high school group. During the worship service prior to me speaking, God showed me visions for three people. After I finished explaining the vision, I spoke to each person.
        For one person: I saw a glass jar full of sand. A grain of sand on its own is insignificant, yet the more sand there is the noticeable it becomes. Similarly, a single act of love might seem unimportant, but continue showing acts of love and there will definitely be an obvious impact.
        For the next person: I saw a jar with a flower in it and the lid screwed on tight. The flower was rootless and withering, a symbol of his life at the moment. God wanted to reveal to him that He has greater plans for his future, that he will grow roots (so to speak) and be rejuvenated.
        For the third person: I saw a jar full of water with smooth stones, then an image of rocks being thrown into a rushing river. When rough, jagged rocks are left under a river's water, the rough edges wear away and become smooth. God spoke to the girl through this--If she jumped into the river of His glory and His love, all of her rough edges would be washed away. Her transformation will become a testimony and encouragement to people experiencing similar trials as her.
        God also revealed to me the meaning of the beating heart and firefly I saw in the jars in the vision. The beating heart in the jar was meant to show that a beating her does not constitute living. There is an Anberlin song that comes to mind that says "There's more to living than being alive." A firefly flickers its dim light on and off at will. We were meant to live as steadfast bright lights in the world, not dull and wavering.

Jars at a Cemetery (vision)

        Lying on a couch in a college apartment, I had a vision. I was visiting my future college in Oregon for a scholarship competition and was able to sleep on campus. After a long day of exciting activities, I was feeling calm and prepared to work hard on my competition the next day. I was hoping to get plenty of rest so I would not be distracted by tiredness and the inability to think straight. Instead, I would doze off for an hour, wake up, doze off, wake up... I sat up and read my Bible for a while (specifically, Romans 8), then changed to The Reason for God by Timothy Keller (great book).
        I closed my eyes, sinking into the couch, thinking I was about to fall asleep. God had other plans--He gave me a vision. At first, I thought I was having a nightmare--it seemed dark and sinister--but God showed me that it was from Him, that I didn't need to be afraid, that I needed to pay attention to what He was showing me.
        I saw a dark cemetery. Old, gray, cracked tombstones covered the landscape. A full moon hovered above the thick fog that lingered over the ground. Next to each tombstone was a glass jar. Most jars were empty or cracked. Some had trinkets or mementos in them--photographs, ticket stubs, pebbles... symbols of memories from that lifetime. They were representations of what that life had accomplished. The photographs showed friendships and relationships, whether shallow or impactful. Ticket stubs showed wasted time, time spent doing things that did not really matter. The pebbles were the extra weight, the burdens, people felt whether it be from worry, sins, guilt, grudges... In one jar, I saw a beating heart. In another, a firefly. These were just glimpses into the lives of the people who no longer existed.
        I heard a booming voice: "What will your legacy be? What will you be remembered for? What will you leave behind?"
        I asked myself: What will be in my "jar"? Will my jar be a broken, shattered mess that holds nothing, no memories, no legacy? Will it hold fond memories for only my own recollection? Will I have an impact on the people around me?
        I thought about my desires, my aspirations for my future. I do not want to lead a pointless, self-satisfying life. I do not want to leave this world without having contributed to something bigger than me. I want to live my life filled with the Holy Spirit--I know that through Him I can make a difference in the world for Christ. I think about Romans 8:5-6... "Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace." I think it appropriate the vision was set in a place of death, especially after reading Romans 8. I hope that my "jar" will be a legacy based on what the Spirit has helped me accomplish, not achievements of the flesh.
        Take some time to consider these things: What will be in your "jar"? What will you be remembered for? What do you want to be remembered for?

A Brief Summary of the Heart

        The heart is not static--it is ever-changing, ever-growing. Change can happen overnight or over the course of a lifetime, for better or for worse. Child-like and innocent at the start, the heart can be corrupted and hardened by the world. Buried beneath the cynicism, the child's heart remains, calling from underneath the rubble, crying to be uncovered and restores. A choice must be made: be ensnared in despair or let your heart be Spirit-filled and joyful once again.

Saving the World

Sometimes, I wish I could just save the whole world.
I wish I could solve everybody's problems and make everyone's life simple, happy, and            
          successful.
I wish things didn't have to be complicated.
I wish I could take everyone under my wing and help them.
I wish I could erase people's struggles from their lives.
I wish I could comfort everyone.
I wish, I wish, I wish...

What if there was no pain?
What if there were no struggles in this world?
What if there was no worry?
What if people couldn't make mistakes?

What if people didn't need saving?
It would be heaven on earth.

As much as I wish and wonder what if? I know that if all that was true, we wouldn't need Christ.

Whether we know it or not, we all need saving.
We all need someone to do the saving.
No one is strong enough, great enough, perfect enough to save us from our greatest enemy.
No one except Christ.

I obviously can't save the world, but I can point to the One who can...

Diamond in the Roots (vision)

        I see you walking through a grassy field- you are picking flowers as you walk. One flower is stubborn as you pull on it. Once you pull it from the ground you notice a diamond knotted in the roots. As you try to disentangle the diamond, you notice it was not caught in the roots- the roots are growing from the diamonds.
        The bouquet of flowers you were collecting is for someone who is sick, someone you are taking care of in real life. The diamond in the roots symbolizes a hidden blessing you will receive because of your kindness. In the vision, you weren't searching and digging for a treasure. The flower growing from the diamond was a way for you to find a blessing because of your caring nature.

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        I had this vision last night at church, but I wasn't sure who it was for at first. As I was praying, I felt like God was telling me that it would be for the person who was standing behind me after service. After closing in prayer, I turned around and saw a woman standing there. I leaned over, introduced myself, and told her the vision I had for her. She said that she has been praying for and taking care of many sick people in her life lately, and that this vision totally matched up with her life.
        We continued to speak for a while, somehow approaching the subject of names' meanings. She said that recently she found out her name--Tracey--meant "harvester." We started laughing because we realized that the speaker that night had been talking about harvesting blessings. God has a funny way of speaking to us, doesn't He?

Instruments (Vision)

I had this vision tonight at church at the end of worship and wound up speaking this to my whole youth group. (Thank You, Lord, for giving me the boldness!) I think this applies to pretty much everyone...

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        I see musical instruments sitting on all the chairs in this room. They aren't being played and not making any sound.
        In church, we are told that we are instruments for God to use, that God wants to use us to make a difference.
        In a lot of ways, we are like the musical instruments I saw... An instrument on its own does nothing, makes no sound. To be heard, it must be played.
        I feel like God is saying that we have not been active in our faith. He wants to use you for mighty things, but maybe you've been just sitting around waiting for mighty things to happen to you.
       When we start living our faith out, it is as if God is playing your instrument. You don't have to worry about how you will sound because He will be doing everything for you-- you just have to be willing for Him to use you. Acts 1:8* and Luke 12:11-12** assure us of this.
        And the beautiful thing is that once God is using all of us, it will work together like a symphony.

*Acts 1:8
    But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

**Luke 12:11-12
    When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say.

Letter to Dad

A little background... On December 13, I got a call from my number-one-choice college (George Fox University) saying that I was accepted. As I wrote in my journal that day: No smile is big enough, no words profound enough to express my joy. It may sound exaggerated or dramatic, but that is truly how I felt. My dad has traded off between encouraging me and worrying about it (the tuition is quite out of our range). I wrote the following letter and gave it to him yesterday...

Dear Dad,
        I know how hard it must be for you- I'll be going away for college and it will cost a lot of money to do so. I trust God will provide for us. This is the desire of my heart, the desire God placed in my heart, and I know that He will make a way for it to happen.
        I've trusted God with my money by being diligent in my tithing, and I'm sure God will pay me back for my faithfulness. Faith is a hard thing, especially for something as big as the tuition we'll be facing. Hebrews 11:1 says faith "is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." As pastors have told me, faith is not a blind leap but a sure step. I don't know how exactly the tuition will be paid, but I know beyond a doubt God will take care of it.
        Going to George Fox means the world to me. It feels like sometimes you are encouraging me, but at other times you disapprove. Is it because you are worried about the finances? about me? "Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken." (Psalm 55:22) "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7) I don't want to leave for college without your blessing. Please, Dad, increase your faith and believe with me and Mom for everything to work together.
        "Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty, but from the strength of an ox come abundant harvests." (Proverbs 14:4) It won't be easy, but with the faith strong like an ox, great things are sure to happen.
Love,
me

Proverbs 16:3
Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.

Psalm 37:4
Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.

Proverbs 3:3-10
Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
  bind them around your neck,
  write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you will win favor and a good name
  in the sight of God and man.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
  and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
  and he will make your paths straight.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
  fear the LORD and shun evil.
This will bring health to your body
  and nourishment to your bones.
Honor the LORD with your wealth,
  with the firstfruits of all your crops;
then your barns will be filled to overflowing,
  and your vats will brim over with new wine.

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       After reading the letter, my dad came to talk with me. It was closest I've felt to him in ages. For a while we stood in silence, hugging each other. Never before has so much been said in such silence. It seemed to be a moment of him trusting me with my decision for college and trusting God for what will come. Later that night, we stood outside in the dark, watching the sky for the chance of shooting stars. Dad saw some, and I think I saw some (it's hard to say what with the city lights and bright moon). It was a special, bonding moment between us- both of us gazing into heaven, hoping to see a glimpse of glory. You can't look away for a second or you could miss the brilliant one. In the end, Dad decided he would fully support me in my adventure and I can't stop thanking God for this blessing!