Lightning and God's Spirit

        I have a heart for people--I want to help, I want to love. I just have a hard time putting myself out there. It's not because I don't know how--I don't know where to begin.

        I want to be the lightning--
                unpredictable;
        There is no beginning or end--
                it just happens.
        It doesn't think where it will go--
                it just goes.
        But lightning is fleeting;
                it never has a lasting effect.
        Does anything on earth last?
                Everything is but a breath--
        A peal of thunder--
                it rolls for moments, then
                        disappears...

        Since life is so brief, I want so much more to impact the people around me. It seems like an impossibility to touch people's hearts, so I find comfort in the words of Zechariah 4:6. "Then he said to me, 'This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel saying, "Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit," says the LORD of hosts.'" I looked up what the Hebrew word for Spirit meant in this context, and found that it means "wind, breath, mind, courage, blast." It usually imparts warlike energy and executive and administrative power.
        I know that I can do nothing to make someone believe. I can only trust God to work in each person's heart. Too often, I find myself like Martha., "As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She has a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, 'Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!' 'Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered, 'you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed-or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken from her.'" (Luke 10:38-42).
        I need to stop doing, and start being. I, like, Martha get caught up in the preparations. I think "if I say this and this, maybe a person might come to know Christ." I think about all the ways I can try to convince someone to believe the same as me. The truth of it is if someone can be talked into something, they can just as easily be talked out of it. Becoming a Christian isn't following a series of steps and processes and then getting a "Salvation Certificate." It is stepping into God's presence, and being in an intimate relationship with God Almighty, knowing that He has saved you from the death you deserve, instead giving you eternal life with Him. Likewise, being a Christian is not about realizing you love God but realizing God loves you. It is realizing that God is near enough to you to hear the faintest whisper of a thought in your heart.
        When I come into conversation with someone who is not a Christian, I don't pray "God, give me the words to speak to them so they can know you," like I used to pray. Instead, I pray "God, let your presence be upon me so this person can feel your presence." God's Spirit is the most powerful force, so why--and how--do we forget His importance?