The Last Song on a Record

 I have become frustrated with the lack of ease with which I now write. Writing is supposed to be my passion, and I want it to be my passion. However, I find myself now stuck with possibly the worst case of writer’s block. I don’t know where to begin, and when I do begin, I don’t know how to develop my writing or end it. I’m never happy enough with what I write. Every time I read what I have supposedly finished, I feel disappointed by what I see and am overwhelmed by a sense of perpetual amateurism. I always want to be better, but I don’t know how to improve. I can hardly think of a topic to write on, and when I ask God for a word, I feel as though I am listening to nothing.

  It’s like the moment when the last song on a record has played but you don’t know it’s the last song, and the record is still spinning for a second or so. You’re wondering if there is another song, but then you hear that little click when the turntable stops, signifying there is nothing more to hear. It’s that moment of expectation and hope, waiting to hear something, and then feeling disappointed. Going along with this analogy, I guess it is safe to say that there is another side of the record. You just have to get up, flip the record over, put the needle down, and listen. I will admit that in the last year I haven’t been listening as hard as I used to. I was eager to hear what God wanted me to write, but then I got tired and frustrated with my lack of perfection. Even now, God will give me a vision to write, but I feel stuck when I try to explain it.
    The best I can do is be patient with myself, challenge myself (rather, force myself) to write more, and hope that at least one person will read my writings and hear God’s voice in it somehow. Even if my writing is not perfect, I need to be obedient and write whatever God asks me to share.