Arms Wide Open

        What do you think of when you hear the phrase "arms wide open"? I always pictured this: a father throwing his arms out, a child running into them, a warm and passionate embrace. It's how I envisioned my relationship with Christ, my Heavenly Father. He had his arms wide open, waiting for me to abandon myself and run into His embrace.
        I was at church recently and we sang a song by Misty Edwards called "Arms Wide Open." I had a vision that changed how I see Christ. "What does love look like?" is the question I've been pondering. / "What does love look like?" is the question I've been asking You. I've been having a hard time grasping the concept of how much God loves me. I have grown up in the church and the teachings have been engrained in my mind--"God loves you," "Jesus died for you," et cetera. But I'm trying to understand God's love on an intimate level, going beyond the cliche phrases and the routine of church.
        And then I saw Him there, hanging on a tree, looking at me / He was looking at me, looking at Him, staring at me / I could not escape those beautiful eyes / And I began to weep and weep. I began to vividly see what the song described. I began to see Christ's eyes, looking at me deeply, intently. In that moment I couldn't catch my breath; it hit me harder than ever before that my sin had put Him on the cross. I wept.
        He had arms wide open, a heart exposed / Arms wide open; He was bleeding, bleeding / This is how I know what love is. My heart was pierced hearing these lyrics. Christ's arms are wide open because they were nailed that way. His arms stretched from one side of the cross's beam to the other, held there by a nail in each wrist. This is how I know what love is. Love is the perfect Son of God pouring out His blood, His life, while hanging on a tree for my sin.
        And as I sat there weeping, crying / Those beautiful eyes, full of desire and love / He said to me, "You shall love Me, you shall love Me, you shall love Me."  When I first saw His eyes I thought I saw pain, sorrow, and betrayal. I felt like I had betrayed Him, as if I had personally kissed His cheek to turn Him over to the soldiers, as if I had swung the hammer that drove the nails into His flesh. But His eyes weren't blaming me. His eyes were full of desire and love for me. He died for His love for me. "This is how God showed his love to us: He sent his one and only Son into the world so that we could have life through him." (1 John 4:9) When you understand how deep and infinite His love is, you can only begin to love Him back. "You shall love Me, you shall love Me..."